Break My Walls
by PerpermintAnna
Summary: "This world is cruel. How do you survive this cruel and evil world? Build up walls around you and get mean." Rated M for lemons and language. Cannon-couples


A/N Hello everyone. My name is Anna and this is my first fanfic. I have read hundreds of fanfics which inspired me to write my own. So enough with the awkward introduction and here is the first chapter of Break My Walls!

The broken clock is a comfort

it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can start tomorrow

From Stealing all my time

And I am here still waiting

Though I still have my doubts

I am damaged at best

Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart

I'm barley breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

Broken by Lifehouse

EPOV

No one can prepare you when someone you love dies or prepare you to take care of another's life. No one can even understand or even comprehend when they both happen to you. The memory of losing my high school sweetheart Tanya and gaining my daughter at the same time was something I never expected. As soon as Tanya passed away I was clueless on what I was suppose to do next, but as soon as Emily Esme Cullen was put into my arms all the uncertainity in my body and brain faded away. I knew that I had to be strong for my daughter.

"Daddy can I help please."

I just chuckled to myself and lifted up my five year old daughter onto the kitchen counter. It amazed me each day how big she was. She was so smart and also wanted to help out in anyway. It didn't matter if it was cleaning or even cooking she was there and ready to help.

"How about you put some salad in a bowl for everyone."

When it came to cooking she focused and did not struggle with the task at all. It always brought a smile to my face when she would tell me and my family she was going to become the best chef in the world.

"Can Alec and Jane sit with me at my princess table?"

I couldn't help but chuckle how fond she was of her cousins.

Right on cue my brother came bursting through the front door with Jane and Alec in each arm. I stepped away from the pasta I was cooking to greet him, his wife and kids. As soon as I was in reach the twins jumped straight into my arms.

"Uncle Eddie!" I couldn't help but cringed when they called me that.

"Hey kiddos. I thought I told you to call me Uncle Ed or Uncle Edward."

I put them down and they both looked up at me and were smirking.

"Daddy said that is what we should call you."

I looked up to see my brother smirking but it didn't last long due to his wife smacking him in the back of the head.

"Thanks Rose." I smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Of course you know how stupid Emmett can be."

"Geez you both are so mean. Do you guys see what your mom and uncle do to me? They are always beating me up."

All the kids laughed as Emmett whined. I returned to the kitchen and started to plate the pasta.

"So how has work been?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at my brother.

"You know dad he makes sure I am not working too much because of Emily."

"Yeah I wish I was as lucky as you and have dad pull a few strings for me but hey at least I like my job."

I just smiled at my brother and agreed. All the men in my family did something either dealing with health. My father and I were both doctors. My brother on the other hand was a personal trainer and my soon to be brother in-law was a therapist.

We quickly ended our conversation in the kitchen and started to give everyone their plates. I was happy that every Friday my brother or sister Alice would come over and have dinner. Without my family I would have not been able to make it through these past five years. They all helped out with raising Emily and helping me through the lost of Tanya.

"Thanks for having us for dinner Edward."

"No problem Rosalie."

I kissed her check and gave a hug to each of the twins.

"Alright bro, I will see you guys on Sunday for the BBQ at Alice's."

"Yep we will be there."

I hugged my brother and waved goodbye. As soon as they were gone, Emily and I got to work. The same routine was to clean the dishes, brush our teeth and get into bed for the night. Emily and I had such a strong bond that it seemed like nothing could break it which comforted me. At the end of the day she was an amazing kid.

Deep down though, I was lonely. Sure I had my wonderful family and the best daughter in the world but it felt like I was still missing that somebody. When Tanya and I got together I pictured us getting married, having children, and growing old together. When Tanya found out she was pregnant with Emily we had just gotten in a huge fight. Tanya and I had fought a lot but at the end of the day we loved each other. When she passed I was so sad and even cried myself to sleep but I eventually found peace and was gratefully for her giving me the best gift I could have asked for.

BPOV

People called me names so what did I do? No I didn't cry or get depressed. I got angry and I got mean. It first started with you stink or you have cooties but over the years it grew to you are a slut or you are ugly. The first time someone called me a name I pushed them in the sand box and kicked sand in their face. It wasn't like I picked fights with peoplebut instead that I just did not take shit from no one. As I grew up I would get into fights at school with girls who gave me a dirty look or called me names. Not only would I get into fights because people were calling me names but I did it when the "popular" kids would pick on someone who was defenseless. I went through three therapists until I met Dr. Jenks. He didn't ask me a whole lot of questions but explained why I did what I did. He told me I acted the way I did as a defensive mechanism. That I sought out to protect others and myself. He told me that I did not allow myself to be vulnerable which was why I only had one friend.

The only friend I ever had was Jacob. Jacob was my foster brother and the greatest friend I could have asked for. If a guy made a rude comment or pushed me, Jacob would beat the shit out of them. I would be completely lost without him and I am thankful for each day I have him.

"Guess who got the job!"

I stopped eating my pizza to stare at my roommate who was now beaming with his "lady killer" grin. It didn't make my panties wet like most girls but instead caused me to smile.

"Congratulations Jacob!"

I got up and hugged him. I really was so happy for him.

"Thanks! I am just happy that my boss is really cool. I swear he could be my clone."

I just rolled my eyes.

"One Jacob is enough thank you."

He squeezed me into his famous bear hug which knocked all the air out of my lungs.

"Say you're sorry."

"So-rry Ja-cob. Can't breeath."

He let me go at once which caused me to land straight on my ass. I just glared at him.

"Asshole."

"Thank you, come again."

I waved goodbye to a man who just purchased a dozen pink roses for his girlfriend. I owned my own flower shop which was called _Bel Flore. _As soon as I turned eighteen I used the money that my "real" parents gave to me for college to open this shop. Here I am eight years and still running my flower shop. My therapist thought it was ironic that with my anger issues, that I choose and loved working with something so innocent and delicate. I questioned myself each day if that was the reason why I was so fond of flowers. My favorite flower wasn't a rose or even a violet but instead it was a sweet pea.

"Excuse miss?"

I snapped out my thoughts to gaze at a small child with long blonde hair and huge blue eyes. I don't know what is was about kids but I never could find myself getting angry or upset around them. I went from behind the counter and kneeled down in front of the little girl in front of me.

"Hi there. What can I help you with?"

"Jane Cullen! Don't you dare run off without your aunt or me!"

I looked up to see a tall blonde with bright blue eyes and the body of a model. I was completely shocked that there was someone so beautiful living here in Forks. I heard the bell ring to notice a smaller woman with jet black shoulder length hair and hazel eyes staring at us all. She was just as beautiful as the blonde.

_Where the hell did all these beautiful people come from? _

"Hi there. Can I help you?"

The blonde looked up glaring at me but it soon faded and she smiled. I didn't even notice the shorter woman come stand next to the blonde and the little girl.

"Yeah, sorry about my daughter. She just got so excited about helping mommy and her auntie with picking flowers for my sister in-law wedding."

I turned to look at the shorter woman who was just smiling at me.

_She is a little creepy._

"Hi I'm Alice aka the sister in-law. This is my sister in-law and my best friend Rosalie and her daughter Jane."

I smiled at each one of them. It was nice to know that they were really friendly.

"Hello, my name is Bella. What can I help you guys with?"

"Okay so like Rosalie said I am looking for flowers for my wedding. I have been to at least twenty different flower shops and talked to a bunch of shitty ass florist who could not name more than ten types of flowers. I came here after my mother recommend this place so I am begging for you to help me."

"Well I can promise you that you are in safe and capable hands."

I smiled and soon had a small and excited Alice squeezing me.

"Thank you soooo much Bella! I just know that you are going to do a great job and that we are going to be best friends!"

_Friends? I haven't been friends with another girl in well, actually never. _

"I think so too Alice."

A/N So everyone is getting tangled in my spider web of a story. (Insert evil laugh here.) So please review and give me some feedback!


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